I didn’t sleep much last night. Hell, I couldn’t sleep last night. The mystery was keeping me awake. Haunting me with every breath. The mystery of the balloon.
Major League Baseball’s Opening Day was full of bizarre last night. From Fauci going Rick Ankiel…
To Nats-Yanks being delayed (and ultimately) called because of thunderstorms, leading us to one of the most ominous and fitting GIFs in the history of the internet…
To then Clayton Kershaw being scratched from his Opening Day start due to back stiffness, forcing the Dodgers to start Carrot Top’s Amish little brother…
To then the biggest mystery and most bizarre moment of the night. during the 8th inning of the Dodgers-Giants game, a random balloon came floating into the stadium…
W… T… and I cannot stress this enough… F?!
Where in the hell did that balloon come? I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, Dodger Stadium is no stranger to things floating onto the field. At most parks, every fan brings their glove to catch a foul ball, but in L.A., every fan brings a beach ball. You’re guaranteed no less than 2-3 delays during a game due to picking up beach balls on the field. That’s probably why the response time to pick up that balloon was so fast. They’re trained for this kind of moment there.
But remember, there aren’t fans this year. I know that may come across as a shock, considering you saw fans in the stadium last night, but those were merely cardboard cutouts of fans. I’ll go ahead and give you a minute to collect yourself after this news.
I think Karl Ravech put it best when he said, “Where did that come from?!” Where DID it come from?! It’s so ominous. It’s so creepy. Is Pennywise getting ready to kill someone?
Wait… Is Pennywise Dustin May??
I just can’t get over the fact this happy birthday balloon came out of nowhere to interfere with the game. Who let that balloon go? Is it a Russian spy? Was it actually a Trevor Bauer drone? A live action remake of UP? I haven’t been this obsessed with a balloon since we thought Falcon was inside.
To me this is up there with Stonehenge. How did those rocks get into formation and how did this helium balloon get into an empty Chavez Ravine? I guess it’s a good thing Netflix brought back Unsolved Mysteries, because this is the definition of one. I mean, in an era of drive-by birthday parades, who is even having birthday parties anymore to house such a balloon?
It did make for one of the beautiful things I’ve ever seen though.
P.S. – Shout out to Dodgers organist Dieter Ruehle for playing 99 Red Balloons immediately after it was retrieved. Incredible.
P.P.S. – That song still slaps.