Taylor Swift Is Dropping A Surprise Album And We Need A Group For Guys Who Are Low-Key Swifties

Sports are back tonight! That sentence in and of itself is enough to give me a tingle in my loins. I mean, what could possibly make tonight any better?

Oh snap. I forgot that you existed.

Jk, but for real. I assumed we wouldn’t get another album until 2021 at the earliest. But apparently QuaranTay got busy during coronavirus. And a jam with Bon Iver? My inner hipster from college is geeking right now. I might just buy a venti fair trade coffee this morning to celebrate.

Also, can we talk about the message she dropped with the announcement?

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First sentence: “Most of the things I had planned this summer didn’t end up happening…”

Ugh. Same girl, same! See?! TayTay IS so relatable!

Third sentence: “Surprise! Tonight at midnight, I’ll be releasing my entire brand new album of songs I’ve poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into.”

The most underrated part of her announcement is how seamlessly she worked the word whims into it. I mean, kudos Tay. I would’ve been happy with an album with merely some of your whims. But ALL OF THEM? Oh hell yeah.

Now, part of the reason I’m writing this blog is because I’m a dude. Not just a dude, but a dude’s dude. I’m sure any dude’s dudes who are reading this can relate. They know what I’m talking about. But my fandom for Tay didn’t start organically. It was passed on to me by my wife. She’s obsessed. A full-blooded Swiftie, if you will. It is because of her we’ve been to her last three tours. Red (Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, TN – surprise guest: Rascal Flatts), 1989 (Staples Center in Los Angeles – surprise guest: Kobe freaking Bryant RIP), and Reputation (The Rose Bowl in Pasadena, CA – surprise guest: Selena Gomez). Not to brag. But through that time, and more so since she’s gone full-on pop, I’ve become a fan. I’m in the minority who thinks Reputation is slightly better than Lover. But only slightly. Although, I’m not a fan of the “bad girl” persona she tried to convey with that album. It was like LeBron playing the villain when he was in Miami. It just doesn’t fit and/or feel right. So I was glad to she went the reverse with Lover.

Sorry, am I too in the weeds here?

All this to say is that I know I’m not alone here. I know because I have the conversations all the time. Just the other day, I had a 15-20 minute conversation with a guy I had just met who worked on a farm and his favorite band was Pink Floyd. But you wanna know who else he liked? Taylor Allison Swift. So we talked about each of her last three albums in depth. It was insane.

But I know there are more out there. Dudes just like me. We didn’t choose the TayTay live. The TayTay life chose us. We got roped in by someone else, but now we can’t look back. Because all she does is drop bangers.

We need an outlet to freely voice our thoughts about how London Boy slaps, Death By A Thousand Cuts would make for a great alarm clock tune, and how we can’t listen to Soon You’ll Get Better because it makes us cry. Whatever it is, we just need some sort of support group, a safe space, or a He-Man Taylor Lovers Club.

We can’t be called Swifties. That name is taken for the diehards. The people who make anything she does trending 3 seconds after she does it. It’s not that I don’t want to associate with them, I just know my level of fandom doesn’t meet requirements to be given that title. Maybe just call us Swifters… or Swifter Wet Jets? I dunno. We can come up with our name later. Call it what you want.

But the point remains. We need a group for husbands, boyfriends, significant others, or just completely single dudes who relate so much to The Man, mainly because… well… we are men. We need a safe space to openly bob our head to Delicate (and not just alone in our car). We need a place to openly debate over whether or not the production value for the Reputation Stadium Tour was better than the production of the 1989 Arena Tour (it obviously was) or if this announcement was timed perfectly with Kanye’s latest Twitter meltdown (again, it obviously was).

I may receive some flack for this blog. But I don’t care. If you’re with me, shoot me a tweet: @austinhuff with like a respect fist emoji ✊ or something. We’re in this together, even if we feel alone.

With all that said, I can’t wait till about the 8th inning of the Dodgers-Giants game tonight. Hurry up and drop your whims already, Tay!

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