Derrick Henry Is Getting Paid! LET’S PARTY!

Korked Bats is a comedic sports and pop culture website, blah blah blah, sure.

But most importantly, it’s the #1 Derrick Henry Fansite on the Internet™. And we’re not ashamed of the fact. The man rushed for more yards than anyone in the NFL last year and he’s big enough to where he could probably crush us to fit inside a soup can if he wanted.

Today, on the final day NFL teams can make long term deals to franchise tagged players, the Titans got a deal done.

Yesterday, we all woke up to this news from Adam Schefter.

Thanks for nothing, Schefter! You had us all go through our entire Tuesdays thinking the Titans weren’t going to PAY DAT MAN HEES MOENEY. I’ll admit it. I fell victim. I was thinking that all day. It was the ONLY thing I could think about all day. My wife asked me multiple times what was wrong. I couldn’t even muster an answer. All I did was sit, sulk, and rewatch Derrick Henry punch Jaguars faces in on repeat for three hours straight.

And then after the three hours were over, I collected myself, wiped the tears from eyes, and then sat and sulked for three more hours watching the same run but this time in Portuguese.

But I guess it’s true what they say, the night IS always darkest before the dawn. Because today not only brought a new day, but a new DEAL.

OH.

HELL.

YES.

I’m trying to think of the greatest days of my life. Obviously my wedding day. That has to be up there. Maybe the day I saw Bedazzled in theaters? I mean, c’mon. Brendan Fraser! And then finally, without question, today. The day the Titans inked Derrick Henry long term.

Now many people will tell you that paying a running back longterm is a dumb decision. The shelf life of a running back in the NFL is shorter than a carton of milk. And those people are right. That is the rule.

But Derrick Henry is the exception.

I’ve written about this before, but Derrick Henry is not built like most NFL running backs. He’s not a Zeke Elliott. He’s not an Alvin Kamara. He’s not even an Adrian Peterson. He’s a linebacker in the backfield. A damn semi-truck in a human’s body. Every time Derrick takes the field, he’s Andy Reid in a Punt Pass & Kick competition. It’s almost not fair.

And I’m pretty sure he uses Stonehenge as his weight room.

He’s a punishing back that only gets better as games move on. And he surprisingly doesn’t have a lot of wear and tear for a guy entering his 5th season. Through four seasons and five playoff games, he has shy of 1,000 touches. Compare that to Eddie George (a back he’s built very similarly too), who had just shy of 1,600 touches through four seasons and four playoff games. And Eddie played in the era of astroturf. And he went on to play FIVE more seasons, amassing over 10,000 yards rushing.

So the whole wear-and-tear argument with Derrick Henry doesn’t carry the same amount of weight with me as it would for a Todd Gurley, LeSean McCoy, or even former Titan, 2,000 yard rusher, and murder-for-hire plotter Chris Johnson. There’s a reason army tanks can endure more punishment than Fiats. They’re built differently.

So how much cash is going to the King?

Lunch is on Derrick.

That is Titans GM Jon Robinson working his wizardry. And doing so right before the 4:00p ET deadline. The only thing that would make this better is if he yelled “KOBE!” before hitting this buzzer beater.

Imagine being a Jaguars defender and knowing you have to try and tackle this human for 120 minutes a year for the next 4 years. No thank you.

Look, this is a good day for Titans fans and for Derrick Henry fansites™. You get four more years of the best running back (if you count Christian McCaffrey as a slot receiver) in the NFL.

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