OnlineGambling.com commissioned the creation of 3-D models showing the bodily damage binge-watching can do to the human body over time, caused by lack of exercise, a poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle.
Before we begin, I find it extremely ironic that OnlineGambling.com commissioned the creation of 3-D models of people who have wayyy too much time on their hands. Who at the OnlineGambling.com office was like, “what would it look like if Wallace And Gromit were addicted to Netflix?” And then went out and paid for models to be made. Is this what OnlineGambling.com does? If so, they’ve got one hell of a misleading website name.
Look at those people, they look absolutely disgusting, but are we sure this is after 20 years? Because you could go to any rural county Wal-Mart in America and find this exact couple roaming the aisles. Then again, they’re probably just there to pick up more cheese puffs and cola.
“From obesity and posture damage to premature aging and bloodshot eyes, these are just some of the nasty effects this unhealthy lifestyle could cause,” reads an intro to the image series, called “Meet Eric & Hannah: The Netflix Bingers.”
“Since staying at home more because of the coronavirus pandemic, on average 44% of residents surveyed in Germany, the US and the UK all admitted to using streaming services more than video calls with friends, playing video games, board games and even working!” the site states.
I don’t know. Looks to me like their posture is pretty solid for sitting on their couch for two decades. They’re sitting straight up. I start slouching before the cold open to Ozark ends.
Let’s take a closer look at Eric and Hannah.
Yikes. Why did I agree to take a closer look? My mans is looking rough. We sure this after 20 years of binging Netflix, or just 3 months of quarantine? Because Eric’s got that self-haircut look going. He clearly hasn’t seen the sun in weeks, months, and possibly years. The only bit of color in his skin is from the Cheeto dust in the corners of his mouth. He also doesn’t look thrilled. He must be a Chris D’Elia fan watching the second season of YOU.
Josh your girlfriend, woof. Ol’ Hannah has clearly seen better days. No, really. Better Days is available on Netflix right now. She’s got that strong Jeremy Roenick jawline, the bags under her eyes are darker than the plot to 13 Reasons Why, and ol’ girl is wayyy overdue to get her hair colored. But you have to admire that laser-sharp focus. She’s locked in. If she wasn’t at home binging Outer Banks, she’d be at a Red Lobster asking to speak to a manager.
Dammit, Hannah! Use a plate.
This whole thing isn’t realistic. How do I know? Well, aside from the fact they look like characters from Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer if it was directed by Mike Judge, neither of them have cell phones in their hands. You can’t watch Netflix without simultaneously scrolling Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok, and then asking your partner, “Wait, can we rewind that real quick? I missed what just happened.” Then again, maybe they instituted a no phone rule after year seven.
It is estimated that it would take you roughly 4 years to watch every single thing on Netflix, so that means Josh and Gretchen here have watched every single thing FIVE TIMES. Look, Love Is Blind was fine, but not sure I’d be able to hear Jessica complain about her age difference with Mark one more time, let alone four more. Then again, if this is after 20 years, you have to assume that 18 of those years are spent scrolling, trying to figure out what to watch.
Then again, Eric and Hannah aren’t half as bad as Graham, the car crash king.