Health

Do Houston Astros Are Cheaters Beers! (But Don’t Get Butt Hurt Like Astros Fans Have)

May 29, 2020
Virulandia

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Sometimes you need to bend the rules a little to Marwin the day, so we're up and at 'em a little earlier than we should be, getting a fresh new Hazy IPA in cans Justin time for a surprise Sunday release! Some of you may have already gotten the Signs that this was coming today, but beer releases are like a pitcher's arsenal, and you never really know what's coming and when… unless, of course, you cheat. When this pandemic first struck, much of our staff worked from home, while Brian rededicated himself to the Art of Brewing.. rewatching brewing school classes, reading new studies, and pouring over interviews, trying to Luhn(h)ow we could improve our efficiencies and processes. The result is a Fiers new approach to everything we do, from mashing in, to dry hopping, water treatments to canning, and everything in between. And, well, we don't mean to breg, man, but this new beer is Reddickulous, and you won't want to miss it! Brewed with Citra in our whirlpool, and given a touch of milk sugar for complexity, this juice bomb was twice dry hopped… first with more Citra, then with 2017 grams per barrel of Galaxy and Strata Hops… and just like an Asteroid, the flavor is out of this world! Like a craft beer Minute Made orange juice, to enjoy at a Park this fine day! Need some #TrashCanBanger in your life? Maybe Collin a favor with a friend if you're stuck in Correa, to have 'em pick you up some, or Cora ride share from Dallas to the brewery. If all else fails, throw a Belt & ran to the brewery, with a little Springer in your step, to be here at noon when we open up and release it to the world… Assuming our canning run goes off without a Hinch, 4 packs of this new #DefinitelyNotGlutenFree Banger will be available at noon for $17. Set your alarm to buzz, or tape an electrode to your chest to make sure you don't forget! The show Musgrove on! We're open from noon until 8pm, accepting same day delivery orders up until 4pm. Usual minimums, fees, etc. apply! Menu in story.

A post shared by Departed Soles Brewing Co. (@departedsoles) on

Think that can can’t get any more perfect? What if I told you there was beer inside?

Incredible. I know this isn’t a WE DOIN’ BEERS?! post and I’m certainly no Professor Grit, but I’m going to go ahead and give that can a 10/10. Perfect score. Not just for rocking the beauty of those awesome Houston Astros throwbacks, but because it’s also ripping the ‘Stros for cheating their asses off in 2017.

Of course, since Astros fans appear to be just as awful as their team, they’ve apparently attempted legal action against this brewery.

Imagine your favorite baseball team cheating, admitting to cheating, half-ass apologizing for cheating, and a brewery making fun of your team for cheating, and then you decide to take legal action against them for making fun of the cheating your team admitted to doing. Wouldn’t be me.

Look, Astros fans should take the next 365 days off. Consider it an extended quarantine. Anything you try to do or say to defend your team is only going to make things worse. No one wants to hear it.

Props to Departed Soles Brewery for taking the high road and trying to turn some good out of this.

Who ever gets their hands on one of these, do the damn beer and tweet it at us: @korkedbeers.

Oh, and in case you don’t remember just how awful the Astros were during their “apology” tour, we made this video breaking it all down.

The post Do Houston Astros Are Cheaters Beers! (But Don’t Get Butt Hurt Like Astros Fans Have) appeared first on Korked Bats.

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