Earl Thomas’s Brother Is What Makes A Weird Story Weirder

“Hey Bro, what’s going on?”

“Not much, just trying to find my other sock.” 

Earl Thomas recently had some news leak out via TMZ (uh-oh) about some alleged cheating/armed burglary involving his brother, wife Nina, two of Nina’s ride-or-die girlfriends, and some non-wives. Nina Thomas has been charged with first-degree felony burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Earl’s wife, Nina, suspected something fishy and reportedly captured his whereabouts using his Snapchat. Once she pinged him at secret hideout (rental house), she grabbed her 2 besties, a Beretta 9 piece, did a few knuckle cracks and headed out ready to handle business a la Liam Neeson with a daughter who has been stolen for a 4th time. Nina reportedly hit Earl a few times, pointed the gun at his head, and wrestled around with him as he tried to grab the gun away from her. What makes this story even more interesting is that part of it was captured on a cell phone camera. Hopefully whoever recorded went sideways, not vertical. Nina said she took the clip out of the gun and all she wanted to do was “scare” him. And it worked. Earl reportedly got so scared that he changed the password to his Snapchat account.

When asked for comment, Earl said, “It’s not really anybody’s business. It pisses me off that it got out, but it’s the world we live in today. But instead of talking about us, just keep us in y’alls prayers. Stuff like this happens.”

Thoughts and prayers, Earl.

Athletes cheating on their spouses is hardly a new thing. It’s a tale as old as time. Best believe George Mikan was telling his old lady that the girl who drops off the basket of peaches is just a friend. The lipstick on Babe Ruth’s shirt was “just ketchup from the hot dog I ate for breakfast.”

But what stands out in this story other than everything is bringing in the brother. Is this actually a normal thing that we are just now hearing about? Are Steph and Seth Curry going halfsies on a box of Trojans? Do Jim and Jon Harbaugh flip a coin to see who kicks off first? Are Pau and Marc Gasol conductors of the 14-foot Spain Train? I don’t know. I do know that Doug Bobbitt is probably glad he wasn’t very close with his brother.

This post was written by Steve. Follow him: @StevePHX 

For more jokes at Earl Thomas’s expense…

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