Read The Room, Manny Ramirez! Now’s Not The Time To Announce A Comeback

So, um, apparently Manny Ramirez wants to make a comeback?

This comes via ESPN:

The former MLB superstar, who will turn 48 in May, has his sights set on the Chinese Professional Baseball League in Taiwan, where he briefly played in 2013.

In an interview published Wednesday by the Taiwan Times, Ramirez told the newspaper that he hopes to land a roster spot this year in the CPBL.

Dammit, Manny. Now’s not the time. And this is coming from someone who absolutely loves you. When you hit the LA media with, “I’m baaaaack!” I smiled. When you cut off that throw from the outfield, as an outfielder yourself, I laughed. When you took a piss break in the green monster in the middle of an inning, I said that’s just Manny bein’ Manny! But this is where I draw the line.

We can’t have you doing this. At least not right now.

Dude, read the room. Understand that our current news cycle, and our quarantined brains just can’t handle this right now. In case you haven’t noticed (which I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if he didn’t), we’re in the middle of a global pandemic that has completely altered the lives of every human on earth. Kim Jong Un has died at least three times in the last week. Tom DeLonge (formerly of Blink-182) was the reason behind the Pentagon declassifying news about UFO’s being real! And now AMC is refusing to air any Universal films this year when their theaters reopen.

Plus, we just learned what Dennis Rodman did on his 48+ hour midseason vacation to Vegas. And now you want to add some 47-year-old comeback story to the top of all that?! We’re just a little overloaded with insanely ridiculous news right now. Frankly, there’s a time and a place to go all Dennis Quaid, and this just ain’t it.

However, if you ask Manny, he’ll tell you this is all charity.

Ramirez told the Times that his return to the CPBL would further help the league, citing a boost in attendance during his 2013 debut season.

Does ManRam know their attendance is currently low because there currently is no attendance? Should we tell him?

I mean, this is literally what the stands look like during their games:

Baseball league restarts in Taiwan with robot and mannequin 'fans ...
Professional baseball in Taiwan has begun in empty stadiums - Los ...
Baseball fans turn to Taiwan pro league for entertainment — Quartz

They even have fake pets there! Now sure, there are a few empties, but I don’t think the cardboard cutouts and mannequins are going to be flocking to the box office whenever Manny’s in the lineup.

Also, can we talk about this dude is three years shy of turning half-a-century old and he’s still got the stroke.

Manny Ramirez is the greatest right handed hitter in the history of the sport. If you don’t agree, you obviously never watched him play and/or played MVP Baseball 2005. So watching him take BP as an AARP member

One last thing. If Manny’s going to do this whole comeback as a bald guy as it appears he now is in the video above, then I’m actually all for it. So forget everything I said. Bald Manny, let’s do this!

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