Colton Underwood has coronavirus.
Welp. There it is. The first person in The Bachelor universe to get diagnosed with coronavirus. We knew it was coming, but it’s still surprising. Especially with who caught it first. I mean, sure, Colton probably had his shirt off more than any Bachelor in history. He also took – by far – the most amount of outdoor showers than
any Bachelor anyone in history. And I’m sure that fact didn’t stop once cameras stopped following him. I’m no doctor, but I assume having your shirt off and/or showering outside makes you much more susceptible to this virus than other people. So am I surprised? Not entirely.
But if you had me guess which Bachelor would get COVID-19 first, I would’ve guessed either Juan Pablo or Peter the Pilot. Juan Pablo mainly because he probably doesn’t even know there’s a global pandemic right now. He’s probably at a nightclub as we speak, dancing alone to an EDM remix of an Enrique Iglesias song.
Peter the Pilot because the COVID is 19 and we all know how much he likes things that age. Plus, he’s a doofus.
But nope, it was Colton. Arguably the most athletic Bachelor – sorry, Arie, racecar drivers don’t count. It’s crazy to hear him say he can’t even walk up a flight of steps without getting winded, so imagine how he feels when jumping fences.
For those wondering what my symptoms are: headache, body aches, night sweats, fever, shortness of breath and a cough. Currently I get winded doing simple tasks like walking up the stairs getting out of bed.
— Colton Underwood (@colton) March 20, 2020
Get well soon, Colton, and stay safe, people. If for no other reason just to end this virus and get The Bachelorette to get filming, because this whole Listen To Your Heart show will be fine, but in the terms of feasting it will be a bag of airline pretzels compared to the steak that is Bachelor/Bachelorette.