Coronavirus Survival Madness: Selection Sunday

I’m sure you know this, but today should’ve been Selection Sunday. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself.

There’s a whole in many of hearts, and we wanted to try and fill it. Seeing as there are no sports due to COVID-19, we felt the need to try and create our own. This is why we put together a March Madness bracket containing all the things necessary for survival during this coronavirus pandemic.

The bracket, much like the NCAA Tournament, is broken down into four regions: Cleaning/Personal Hygiene, Entertainment, Food/Drink, and Things You Miss. Beginning Monday (March 16th), we will open up voting on Twitter (@korkedbats) and online (on this website) for you to decide which is most important for surviving this global pandemic. Voting will last for 24 hours for each region with each round.

With all of that said, we don’t want to be like CBS and wait 30 minutes before we reveal the field of 64. So without further ado, here is the complete bracket:

Click on the image to make it larger.

If you care to join us in filling out a bracket to see how well you do, click here and then click “Create A Prediction”

Click on the image to fill out a prediction!

Here’s a look at all of the entries that have signed up thus far:

Cleaning / Personal Hygiene Region

  1. hand sanitizer
  2. toilet paper
  3. Clorox Wipes
  4. Facemasks
  5. Lysol Spray
  6. wet wipes
  7. Swiffer
  8. Windex
  9. bleach
  10. latex gloves
  11. deodorant
  12. hazmat suit
  13. body wash
  14. Tide Pods
  15. Pam Cooking Spray
  16. plastic bags

Obviously, hand sanitizer and toilet paper have taken the top two seeds in this region as they’ve been the most dominant thus far. Many might point to the fact that Lysol Spray should be higher, but they had a rough stretch in conference play which is why they’re the five seed. That 5 v. 12 game pitting it against hazmat suits makes for an interesting matchup. Also, Pam Cooking Spray clearly snuck into the field by winning their conference tournament.

Entertainment Region

  1. Netflix
  2. Hulu
  3. Disney+
  4. Instagram
  5. cable television
  6. books
  7. video games
  8. napping
  9. Twitter
  10. board games / puzzles
  11. playing cards
  12. taking a walk alone
  13. TikTok
  14. staring out the window
  15. using your imagination
  16. doing your taxes

This is what many analysts are determining the most important region of the 64-team field, as we all need distractions to get us through this time of no sports and social-distancing. Netflix is the clear-cut #1 seed, and despite coming on strong over the last few months, the selection committee still felt that Disney+ was too new to rank it higher than a 3-seed. That also feels the reason popular social media platform TikTok wasn’t ranked higher as well. Many analysts are choosing napping as their sleeper pick.

Food / Drink Region

  1. beer (non-Corona)
  2. bread
  3. Ramen
  4. milk
  5. wine
  6. coffee
  7. DiGiorno
  8. Pop-Tarts
  9. hard liquor
  10. Wheat Thins
  11. orange juice
  12. ice cream
  13. soup
  14. tea
  15. Gatorade
  16. bagels

It may not be at the top of the food pyramid (depending on who you ask), but beer (non-Corona) has taken the top seed in this region. Bread locked in a 2-seed, despite the fact it’s perishable food, but with the way people are treating self-quarantining like a snow day, bread is flying fast off the shelves. Many people may think wine isn’t seeded high enough, but again, they didn’t have enough impressive non-conference wins. Don’t sleep on DiGiorno though. Many analysts believe it will deliver this year.

Things You Miss Region

  1. March Madness
  2. NBA
  3. human contact
  4. MLB
  5. NHL
  6. The Masters
  7. not fearing death
  8. taking Ubers
  9. concerts
  10. your kids being at school
  11. going to movies
  12. not needing to wash your hands every 5 minutes
  13. theme parks
  14. Coachella
  15. South By Southwest
  16. going to the bank

Many people may question why human contact is only a 3-seed, but I think many people would agree that they would be ok self-quarantining as long as there were some March Madness and/or NBA games on TV, thus why it fell. The 12th seeded not needing to wash your hands every 5 minutes could pose a formidable threat to the NHL in that 12-5 matchup in round one. Sure, going to the bank may be a surprise at the 16-seed, especially considering most people use online banking these days, but even for those who do, I’m sure they’d gladly go to the bank to deposit checks just to get out of the house during these social-distancing days.

Round 1

  • Cleaning / Personal Hygiene: March 16
  • Entertainment: March 17
  • Food / Drink: March 18
  • Things You Miss: March 19

Round 2

  • Cleaning / Personal Hygiene: March 20
  • Entertainment: March 21
  • Food / Drink: March 22
  • Things You Miss: March 23

Sweet Sixteen

  • Cleaning / Personal Hygiene: March 24
  • Entertainment: March 25
  • Food / Drink: March 26
  • Things You Miss: March 27

Elite Eight

  • Cleaning / Personal Hygiene: March 28
  • Entertainment: March 29
  • Food / Drink: March 30
  • Things You Miss: April 1

Final Four

National Championship

Follow Korked Bats on Twitter (@korkedbats) and be sure to vote!

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