FULL DISCLOSURE: I was unable to watch the first part of this episode, due to severe weather in the area where I was watching. The meteorologist assured me we would get back to regularly scheduled programming soon, but it was not soon at all. And it is for that reason in which, for the first 6 minutes of this episode, I can only tell you which counties in my area were most at risk from severe t-storms.
And when I say severe t-storms, I’m not referring to Tammy.
When I picked up the episode, Peter was apparently on a one-on-one date with Hannah Ann I think.
There were some guys with giant drums strapped to their backs doing some dancing spin moves, which I will say is one insanely confusing way to pick up a reality TV dating show from scratch. Hannah Ann and Peter then walk around Chile (I think?) and meet an old elderly couple. In a major flex move, Peter starts talking to them in the little bit of Spanish he learned in 9th grade paired with the little bit he learned from his grandma.
Peter asked the old married couple what’s the secret of staying together for so long. The old man rattled off a list of poorly pronounced words in English before saying that the most important thing is love.
Thanks, old Chilean man.
Glad you were able to unearth the secret of a healthy and long-lasting relationship is love. My man should write Hallmark greeting cards with that kind of depth.
During the date, Hannah Ann fittingly admitted in passing that she has never been in love before, and by the way Peter reacted, you would’ve thought she said pilots are responsible for world hunger. Because for the rest of the date, Peter was hung up on that fact. At dinner, he grilled Hannah Ann with questions as if he was Alayah trying to figure out who talked bad about her, Kelsey getting to the bottom of Champagnegate, or Kelley just at work.
Hannah Ann told Peter that “so many people stay in the shallow waters of life, and that’s only where you catch minnows.” She said she’s not about being superficial. And there can’t be any more proof in that fact more than what she does for a living…
She’s a model.
However, she could’ve legitimately shared nuclear launch codes in that moment, because Peter wasn’t listening. He was still hung up on the fact that she had never been in love before. Hannah Ann was just like, “Um, I’ve just never been in love before, dude. Chill out. I just got my driver’s license 6 years ago.”
Peter couldn’t handle this fact, kindly excused himself from the table, and walked outside to stare longingly at a birdbath. Shortly after, Hannah Ann joined him, crying, which was smart because Peter has some sort of weird fetish for tears. If the waterworks start flowing, he becomes mesmerized by it. He immediately loosened up, as Hannah Ann told him that she’s “starting to fall in love with him.”
Boom. She’s now the second girl this season to drop the L word, a.k.a. the emergency rip cord in the parachute. And luckily, the tarp came out as Peter ate it up, hook, line, and sinker, and ultimately gave her the rose.
Click the arrow to move onto the group date…